Things you will be happy about when we part

You can smoke in the house.  You will no longer have to go to garage and smoke, I know how much you hate the cold garage in the winter.

You can drink as much as you want. You can get fucked up. You don't have to run back out to by beer like you do now when I leave for work or class. You can bring it all home and leave the cans scattered like treasures. No more hiding! Yay you.  (Sidenote, you never fooled me)

You won't have blonde hair in combs or brushes

You will not have to share blankets with me

Hopefully you will get a new mattress since you hate everyone we've had

You can have a place that the temperature stay comfortable and the windows don't suck. Because you hate that about our house.

Hopefully you will have more cabinet space, you hate ours

If you reside in an apartment you know longer have grass to cut. You really hate that.  

You can surf porn, surf girls, your fave asses and  not have to delete it, hell, you can even make it your screensaver.

No more dog hair. This is Stitches home. He loves it here and he loves me. And while he does love you, he's better with me and this home.  Your sister gave him directly to me.  

Hopefully you have a vanity light in bathroom. You hate we don't have that.

Soon, I won't be in your way anymore. You won't dread coming home from work.  Nobody to make you angry, bother you, annoy you.  I will be out of your life and you will be free of me.  The only reason you are still here is because of cheap house payment and free health insurance. Oh, and maid services.

But when you look at all the things you get back....it's worth it. Don't ever find me again.  You broke me heart twice already.  This is it.


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