I took that turn....

 I hate you. 

I really do HATE YOU.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. But you are destroying who I am. 

You going out and buying beer when I go to class, or work, hiding it on another payment method, fully thinking I don't know, I can't tell. It's ludicrous. When you drink after work before you come home, or buy two on the way home but only bring in one. You think I'm a fucking idiot. I am not.  I am no fool. You are.

You told me in the darkest moments when you looked for me, you looked around and settled on this was your life, alone.  You had a chance to have so much more with me. A nice home, a dog, me, someone who loved all of you, not just pieces, not just the good parts, but loved the dark pieces, the broken pieces, everything that made you YOU. I loved all of that.

I stood by you.

 These are the moments I should have left you................

Through the photos you took of asses, girls you followed in Home depot to take pics of there asses, the girls standing in line asses.

When I heard the convenience store bell DING every fucking day after your work in Cleveland.

When you pushed and poked me, I have that video. The one you were screaming at me.

When you pushed me off the bed

When you signed up for Ashley Madison, your profile said "I love my wife, just looking outside the box", you said Looking for: "Lustful and Carefree"

When you paid on onlyfans to see sluts, when you were out of work. Your childhood best friends daughter you got to see grow up.

When I have found (and it's never stopped) Picture of girls, porn you have saved and screen-shotted

When you put me in a choke-hold, than tackled me onto the ground February after my dad died

When you have lied about your credit cards, racking them up on convenience stores 

After Yucatan when you took pics of our hostess ass, you told people "This is like our honeymoon we didn't have"

Signed up for "FlirtyNeighbors" and only who knows what else. You love Asians, Latino, but not your wife.

I stood by you. I have given chance after chance after chance.

But yesterday when you came home with a beer, I left for class, you went and bought two more. I came home and you make me sick. Making gurgling, grumbling, jaw clicking, nose sniffing sounds. I can't even enjoy the movie we were watching. You think I don't know. I do.

 It hit me when I went to bed last night. I cannot stand you. I CAN NOT STAND YOU.  I can barely look at you.  

You had a chance to have it all, or damn close with a woman that loved all of you. And you threw it away.  

I hope when you are old, sitting alone in a place you remember, I loved all of you.  But you threw me away.


 



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