Crap Casino night

 I went a tad bit out of my way to look extra pretty tonight to go to the casino. But you didn’t notice. Why would you? I never like going to the casino with you. Because you’re up and down, you’re happy and fun if you’re doing well and if you’re not, you cuss yell at the machine and you’re embarrassing. I may have liked going with you before more because our relationship was much different. But here we are… lost love and honestly anything I do annoys you. You came in annoyed I asked you what was wrong. You snapped at me and said “nothing.” I said you seem like you’re in a bad mood ….again snapped at me. I’m not in a bad mood. But yet you had a chip on your shoulder.  But I ignored it. And like old times anytime you start winning money, you can’t stop when you are ahead,  you want to keep going you don’t want to go home. But I was tired. I have worked seven days a week including all weekend and I have to be at work at 7 AM. So I said I was leaving at nine. Of course you were annoyed but we left. Honestly I was done Sitting there with you. you drop F bombs and bitched about the machine not paying you, people look at us, I sit there and say nothing; it was just annoying. It’s really not fun to be with. And then of course once I drive you to your car, I get a nice little kiss on the cheek. How sweet. Like I’m your kid . I beat you home but not by much you take our dog out to go smoke. I’m ready to go to bed and you come and you say did you want to go to bed? I thought we would sit out by the fire. I said it’s 930 I’ve worked seven days a week and all weekend and I have to be at work at 7 AM. I’m just going to go ahead and go to bed.  as your pleasant self, you said, OK, threw your hands up and walked out. I don’t even know why I’m prolonging this anymore. You’re completely annoyed by me on so many levels, we don’t touch, kiss, you notice nothing of me and we don’t really talk. We don’t even enjoy going out together you don’t notice I’m not wearing my ring, you treat me like I’m just a friend. And I don’t even talk to you anymore and you don’t even notice.  Being with you drives me deeper in the depression and I don’t know what I ever did that you could not love me. And I don’t know why you blew up my life, especially since this is where we are so soon after the façade and lies to get me here. Did you ever love me at all?  Or was it all fake? 

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