The morning after

 You choose to sleep in the guest room. Fine by me.

And as I lay in bed last night and this morning again, unlike most mornings I feel we can start again and emotions were heated, but this morning was different.

It set in  my soul. We are done.  

A marriage cannot survive nor thrive without communication on all levels, and that means indifferences, conflict and degrees of disagreements.  A marriage should be a safe place.  A place where you can discuss insecurities, concerns, anger, and disagreements.  You should be able to navigate troubled waters with grace and respect, not yelling, not screaming, not slamming doors, not walking away, not blaming.  In 3 years we've not been able to achieve that.  This has always been an ongoing problem.  You just are not able to converse and disagree.  It's never your fault, you do nothing wrong.  It's always me.  In all these years you have apologized one time, and it was a 1/2 ass apology when you shoved me off the bed. The next day it went like this..."For what it's worth even though you won't believe me. I'm sorry" and you walked away.

You've never apologized for the next physical fight, you made it clear, that was my fault.

You've never apologized for your slut searching, porn saving addiction.  There is nothing wrong with that you said....So why hide and delete?

So you can tell yourself and anyone you choose everything was my fault. Because I'm not fighting anymore. I've fought too hard, too long to keep this marriage going. You win. Congratulations.

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