invisible me.....

 You use to LOVE the smell of my perfume. In fact you'd spray it on my lil nightie and put it in a bag and take it home with you when we parted. Remember that?  You never liked heavy make up, but you liked a little and you always would say how beautiful I am.  You loved my blonde hair and now you don't even notice or mention that this past Wednesday I got 1" cut off and many layers added plus a fresh touched up blonde.  

I started to wear perfume over a month ago.  You never mention it, even though I put a spritz on just prior to you coming home. One day I guess I put enough on for you to notice and instead of a happy notice you condemned me , "Is that you that smells", I said "Yes, it's perfume"  You said "Why are you wearing perfume"?  I was taken back.  As usual tone, you were instantly irritated with me, you questioned me, why so much, why at all, why didn't you smell it when you came home for lunch..."It's just weird" you said.  I was hurt. I just went and sat down and didn't speak. I'm getting good at not speaking and you don't even notice I don't talk much. I don't laugh. I just have learned to obey and be quiet so you don't snap and get angry with me.

One time you made a comment about what did I go, thought I went somewhere because you left with make up on.  You noticed but didn't even say anything until it felt like a accusation.

I've bought new nighties.  Clearly you notice, but your eyes don't look, the interest is long gone, no mention.

You've not seen me naked in over a month. We've not showered together in over a month.

We've not had any long kiss in over a month.

I don't put my hand in that special spot in the crook of your collar bone and neck.

You either notice nothing, or just don't care. Perhaps you are glad I've stopped and backed away. Maybe it's relief to you.

I am your burden. But I come with a decent house, cheap house payment and free insurance.  But you don't see me as a wife.  You see me as a fixture.  A maid, a companion.  You may love me the best you know how, but I was never the "Light at the end of your tunnel"

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