Watered Down A

 You came home with your large Icehouse beer (2 regular sizes) I left for appt.  On the way home you said "can you pick me up a beer at drive-through"?  "I'd love to I said" (Complete sarcasm) So I did. I pulled in the drive and your car was moved.  I said "where did you go"?  You said "WHY would I go anywhere? Oh yes, I went and got more beer"! Soooo...you buy one on way home. Drink it at home, leave and buy more. Text me to pick up another. This is asinine I'm thinking. So I said....... "Why don't you just buy a 12 or 24 pack of  beer so you don't always have to stop and buy one after work"? Your reply......this is fucking hilarious...... "Because Sometimes I just want ONE beer after work"😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Read that again. No seriously READ THAT AGAIN ..... "Because Sometimes I just want ONE beer after work".  So...if you buy a 12 or 24 pack of beer, are you required to drink all of it?  I barely coul...

 For nearly 3 years our lack or zero passion was a topic, in 2021 you would only attempt to make changes are my bitch whining and pleading. As I began to accept you weren't attracted to me, I let go slowly.  In March of 2023, after our February Jamaica trip where you said "we'd be us again in Jamaica", well that shit ship sailed further away.....I said to you twice, two weeks apart, once at home, once in the car that if things didn't change passion wise, you'd push me to cheat. Not a fucking thing changed.  Can't say that too many people that love their spouse, want there spouse, certainly don't want them to cheat would do nothing. But that's exactly what you did. As time marched on I stopped doing things, and you happily let them go. Kisses, sitting on your lap, hugs, holding hands, you just let it go with me. In that time I've found porn and girl shots, so again, it's not you don't want it, you don't want it from me. Partial messa...

 FINALLY, after many texts about serious issues. You know, because you are unwilling, incapable or abusive with emotional withdraw to have grown up conversation....you responded to a text. This is a rarity as typically you NEVER respond. You have in fact stated you don't even read my long messages as they are "Rages". But I got a response yesterday when it was you going to the Troll place with coworkers. You invited me to go, normally I would have jumped to go, but I'm not pretending to be something we are not in your disillusion world in front of coworkers, so I told you I was sad, I told you you don't have to wear your ring, you are free. I didn't ask if you loved me, for I believe in your own way you do.  I responded to you probably 6-8 times and always deleted. What the point I told myself. It doesn't matter anyways. Nothing will change. Your text was fucking comical, yet heartbreaking, maybe a lie, maybe not. I honestly have no fucking idea, but here ...

 I went a tad bit out of my way to look extra pretty tonight to go to the casino. But you didn’t notice. Why would you? I never like going to the casino with you. Because you’re up and down, you’re happy and fun if you’re doing well and if you’re not, you cuss yell at the machine and you’re embarrassing. I may have liked going with you before more because our relationship was much different. But here we are… lost love and honestly anything I do annoys you. You came in annoyed I asked you what was wrong. You snapped at me and said “nothing.” I said you seem like you’re in a bad mood ….again snapped at me. I’m not in a bad mood. But yet you had a chip on your shoulder.  But I ignored it. And like old times anytime you start winning money, you can’t stop when you are ahead,  you want to keep going you don’t want to go home. But I was tired. I have worked seven days a week including all weekend and I have to be at work at 7 AM. So I said I was leaving at nine. Of course you w...