Watered Down A

 Today is Christmas.  You came out this morning and said Merry Christmas 🎄, gave me a kiss on the forehead. The first in months. You showered me with gifts, I don't understand why as you know we don't celebrate any holidays with gifts. Not our anniversary, no birthdays nothing. None in 3 years. A small Christmas gift is the exception. But you went above and beyond.  One thing you created was a sheer masterpiece of a stove cover. Truly a work of art and I thought from the heart. I'm not sure anymore. You had to go to work to get some thing because you wanted the help of my son putting some thing in my car you bought me. While you were gone, my son needed an extra phone so he asked what your passcode was and I told him. He said no mom at six digits. I said I have no idea. I said give me the phone because we have facial recognition. And it was locked from me. At first, I thought well mines locked too, and my facial recognition only sees me. But then I remembered I had given...

 Another fight ...not even sure why I bother. You came home later than normal clock out, very clear you had some beer, I asked if you had beer with guys after work, you snapped no, why? I said because you seem a little toasted.  In good old fashion you blew the fuck up. Saying I'm shitty to you, yada yada, typical gaslighting you do. You yell at me because I'm calm, accusing me of patronizing and laughing . I can't win.  I say in a bit "if I'm what you've wanted why do you still look outside our marriage at woman and porn" and rare honest answer you say "I don't know" I ask why I'm not worth working at our marriage. You claim you are internally. We are a team you say, you look confused.  The next day I text you and I apologize that you moved down and cashed out your 401(k). I told you I didn't ask you nor expected you and have you been honest about yourself and the way you saw my marriage you would not have moved down. We both gave up...